...And in the noise.

 

After spending an hour in silent prayer this morning, the group reflected on the prayer time... Pete, this week's speaker, said, "Learning to find G-d in the silence is easy for me. It's finding G-d in the noise that's difficult... If I can find G-d in the silence, I need to learn to find G-d in the noise also. Sometimes you can't escape the earthquake or the fire." (Referring to Kings when the earthquake and fire come before Elijah hears G-d speak in the silence)

I love this because, like Pete, silence is not what I find most challenging; rather, it's finding G-d in the noise of day to day life. I've learned to love sitting in silence, and though this is an important way in which I experience G-d, G-d is not limited to this quiet time. Because even if I spend thirty minutes or even an hour or more sitting in silent prayer every day, I'm eventually going to have to leave the quiet space and face a noisy world. So the challenge continues, to make the entire day a prayer- to listen to G-d in any circumstance.

G-d speaks in the silence...

Oh, I don't reject Christ. I love Christ. It's just that so many of you Christians are so unlike Christ… If Christians would really live according to the teachings of Christ, as found in the Bible, all of India would be Christian today.

-Gandhi

            Ghandi’s message poses a daunting challenge to Christians- and yet, encouragement can be found. Last week, I heard that the YWAM staff members receive no salary! They live lives for Christ- doing service, sharing the Gospel, and actually taking to heart this message: “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?” (Matt 6:25). The staff “really live according to the teachings of Christ” as Gandhi would have hoped. Lucy, the speaker from last week and a prime example of someone living her life for Christ, shared that to know how to follow Christ, we have to learn to hear G-d’s voice.

            This was the focus of last week’s lectures. Lucy challenged us to “not put G-d in a box” as we explored different forms of prayer and kept our ears (and hearts) open for ways that G-d might be speaking to us… One morning, we spent 45 minutes in silent prayer. In the reflection following the quiet time, one staff member said that often we set aside a small amount of ‘prayer time’ during the day and demand that G-d will give us all of our answers right then. But why do we assume that we'll get answers exlusively during that short “prayer time” when really, G-d is communicating with us all day? While it is important to set aside this time especially for G-d, prayer does not stop there. “Prayer can not be switched on and switched off. Prayer is oneness… fullness of intention” (Mother Teresa). Playing music, eating dinner, taking out the trash... I can make it all a prayer if I have the intention. I can listen to G-d at all times.

            It's then- when I take constant prayer into my day- that I really am able to go deeper into knowing G-d's voice. I've known G-d's "voice" as a deep sense of peace. That's how I've discerned G-d. But now I remember Lucy's challenge: Don't put G-d in a box. How else is G-d present in me? As I sat in prayer last night, this came clear in my mind: "In the silence, G-d speaks…"

Deutschland

May you find the path which will lead you to the highest and truest of yourself. Hope for perpetual discovery and trust Life. That’s all. –Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

View out the window from my room- taken by Amanda Crowe

          

        The snow-covered rooftops of Herrnhut are not so conducive to rooftop yoga and meditation… Hallo Deutschland! It’s all beautiful here- the white-blanketed hills and buildings, the quaint town with just a few cafes and grocers, kids in puffy jackets speaking German words to their mums and pops… And light is scarce as winter keeps sunlight on a strict schedule; however, contrary to what I anticipated, I love the snow. The winter weather keeps everything looking picturesque and I feel at home once again in a place far from San Francisco.

            I arrived on Thursday evening and explored the “the castle” for the first time with the other Marriage of the Arts DTS students. I found my room with several other girls and have had days already filled with such community… we’ve had prayer and worship, a Shabbat celebration in town on Friday night (a joining of backgrounds!), a lecture on preparing ourselves for the upcoming months of learning more about G-d, a game night hosted by one of the women staff, a photo-taking excursion to an abandoned warehouse… Already, I’m being challenged to go deeper into knowing G-d.

            All this said, you might be wondering how I ended up in Germany- indeed, I ask myself the same question! Last weekend, several big decisions were at hand. The choice was between internships, organic farming, or joining the YWAM (Youth With a Mission) community in Germany. Monday was when decisions needed to be made, and it was daunting trying to choose just one.

            I sat down on Saturday to do some discerning and was reminded of what I’ve wanted for a long time: solid time set aside to know G-d more and to live in a strong faith community. This was above all, what I was seeking. Ignatius taught that my deepest desires are G-d’s desires.. my answer was staring me in the face. An invitation. YWAM offered a Christian community and three months to dive into scripture, prayer, and my relationship with G-d. And after the “lecture phase,” another three months would be set aside for doing service and outreach in other countries. G-d, service, travel, a focus on using art (music, photography) to go deeper spiritually… I’d done the research and the program was nearly perfect. Though there were risks: the program had already officially begun so I would need to get to Germany as quickly as possible, it was six months long and far from the states, and I might not be 100% backed by people curious about setting aside so much time for spiritual formation. Yet it felt right. It was where I felt lead, and I was at peace.

            I accepted the invitation. Sunday night, I got a ticket to Germany (and found the most incredible deal... things were falling into place). Monday, I got a winter coat (hoorah!) and boots for the snow. Tuesday, final preparations were made. Wednesday, I woke up before sunrise and found myself inside the terminal at SFO awaiting my journey to Europe. It was a quick transition, yet didn’t feel rushed. It reminds me that G-d doesn’t always work on our time… Life changes quickly and we can trust. As Pierre Teilhard de Chardin says in the quote above, I’m “[hoping] for perpetual discovery and [trusting] Life” to the fullest of my ability. Cool Runnings and a big shout out to the latest Kairos Group that returned home last week. Live the Fourth.